Life has many perspectives. Situations also carry many perspectives. Every event, circumstance, situation, or person can be viewed in multiple ways.
I fear that the emergence of DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion) has brought workplaces to a point where there seems to be an urge to sanitize everything so that none of those perspectives can be deemed to be harmful, hurtful or upsetting.
I’d say such a quest is akin to herding cats. I was with my 3-year-old grandson yesterday and he was tired and “in a mood”, so much so that he didn’t want his lunch. That is so not like him, but his tiredness and his resulting mood took over his ability to see his favorite foods sitting in front of him.
When I was a new Dad, I attended weekly sessions with a parenting coach. She was amazing and she taught me to not try and engage kids when they are in “reptile brain mode”, tired, hungry, stressed, or sick. She warned that in this place, they feel like they are in survival mode and are really not interested in making decisions or being compliant.
Workplaces bring together a lot of different people who are in different states of awareness and who are also concealing different feelings, fears, and levels of resistance to their current circumstances.
One person may have a migraine headache, another could be socially awkward, whilst another might have just had a fight with their spouse or may have a sick child at home.
When people are not “at their best”, they can say and do things that they might not do when at their best.
Then there are others, young men for example, who may have missed out on having access to stable mentors who helped them to manage their own behavior and attitudes.
Workplaces are a complex and often mixed-up communion of people. Things will be said and done that are just not cool. Sometimes things will occur that are insensitive and apparently cruel.
But can all this be sanitized? I doubt it. If we are attempting to sanitize, we are playing a right-wrong game. These things are right, and these things are wrong. If we sanitize it enough, then someone is probably going to be treated badly for a momentary loss of self-awareness or common sense.
Perhaps the workplace can be better used to teach all of us to grow and evolve so that we move beyond react and into a place where we can notice something, breathe for a moment, and choose a helpful response.
For example, a young man on a site says something suggestively sexual to a young woman. Instead of reacting in offence, she may learn to see it as an act of stupidity, and then go to his superiors, share it with them and explain that he needs help with that because he cannot go around doing those things.
Or a supervisor might choose an unsafe practice and belittle workers who are hesitant. Instead of succumbing to fear and anxiety, the worker could go to a superior and let them know that they feel the supervisor is not of “right mind” today and needs some support.
If we simply react and make an occurrence “Wrong” then things can spiral out of control quickly.
It is my belief that humanity is evolving. We can all keep learning and support each other to keep growing, keep evolving and learn to be more aware of our impulses and compulsions, and to have more care for those around us.
This cannot be achieved through force and compulsion. But it can be achieved through care, guidance, mentoring and instruction.
We can all learn to develop what I like to call a cushion, a cushion of time and contemplation that sits between occurrence and response.
What do you think?
